Woots! It’s the time of the year again to do thanksgiving!
Today I want to write about why 2016 has been my best year so far. It was a year of so many breakthroughs. Because there are still a couple of ongoing projects and negotiations, I will just write in general terms for myself to keep track.
It’s such a happy thing that I can write this post with a peace of mind, and with a heart of gratitude.
I learnt to avoid doing business with people who have different values.
Related to this is how I learnt to always validate things on “what is”, not “what should be”. I learnt to test people, test markets, test things. I learnt how to justify arguments based on that evidence that is verifiable and objective, not voodoo and subjective.
I learnt the very fucking hard way to always sign a written contract before starting work. Verbal contracts are legal yes, in Finland, but super hard to prove.
I learnt that people attach all sorts of things to “money”. They think money symbolises self-worth, respect, excellence, integrity, ethics.
So they link “money” with “hard work” as well. This means that if they have low self-esteem, they will simply mentally reject money and make business difficult for yourself. For sometimes what you find easy is difficult for someone else– so do you reject money due to this Dunning-Kruger effect?
Actually, money is simply a measurement of what value the market places on the good or service. That’s simple economics. It’s just that emotional human beings, like all of us, refuse to see “what is”. So we complicate life when it’s actually easy to simplify and live without problems.
People with unresolved childhoods are like poisonous snakes, beautiful, mysterious, vulnerable even. But they will poison and seek to destroy you when you are least aware. Avoid at all costs if you are untrained.
I’m grateful for learning how to dig, strategize sequence and collect black-and-white evidence on things snakes do, “just in case”.
Aside to that, because what people value is subjective, it is always wise to align values and THEN interests.
This learning is personally very important to me because I identified my own “what is” and “what should be”. And I started testing out my own beliefs and found out that even I am delusional in certain areas. This is simply due to childhood programming.
And I learnt to unprogram. And I did, successfully, in some areas. And I started to fly 😀
2. I learnt to avoid narcissistic people.
I’m convinced that I don’t need additional drama in my life. It is not my problem that narcissistic people are so insecure and attention seeking, and I’d learnt to avoid doing business with such people.
I’d also learnt to stop regarding people’s problem as my own. I tend to be helpful very often. However, when help is rendered wrongly, it will do more harm than good. When help is offered without permission, people will hate you and it’s just rude. So I learnt to ask for permission before helping.
I’d also learnt to stop offering help for free, because very often people lie without knowing that they lie. If people really value my professional help, they’d pay for it. The problem with people not paying for professional help is simply because they don’t see the value in paying.
If you keep offering help for free, your advice then, is “good to have” and “optional” to apply. This means that the time you put into the project has no guarenteed returns because that person might not even apply your advice. And worse still, because it is free, you won’t even get monetary compensation.
So why waste your precious life moments on such people who don’t appreciate, don’t apply, and don’t pay you? They might say “thank you we appreciate very much” but their actions show that they lie big time if no execution is done.
I’d rather sleep.
I say this after testing it on people. There was one ridiculous person who asked me to help his friend do digital strategy for free to make money for them because “they really like my blog”. I was supposed to take one hour of my time to skype with the friend. Then I asked “is this casual or business?” He said it’s casual.
Does this even make sense to you? Why do I help a complete stranger earn money for free? So I said no, not going to do it, and after that there was no more contact.
Casual and “like my blog”? My ass. More like want free advice to “consider” without cost and subsequently selectively apply. Forget it, I have zero interest.
People really lie all the time without knowing that they lie, don’t they?
So I learnt that I have the power to include or exclude people in my life, via my time.
A lack of payment is saying that your product/ solution does not solve their pain points adequately. This is the truth. 🙂
Money is the clearest validation of the truth. Not words–because people lie all the time sometimes without knowing that they lie.
Use money to test. Use barriers to filter.
3. I learnt that there is such a thing as Karma.
And thankfully, I have pretty good karma, so I can’t complain much here! ^_^
A lot of very good things did happen to me. I am also blessed with very kind people around me, so I’d consider myself a very blessed girl.
4. I learnt systems thinking.
And so I can really predict stuff now.
AND THEN, I learnt to set up systems so that I can get used to the routine. I learnt that once the system is right, good results will follow. That’s the structure of “do” and “thought”.
5. I found really great business/life mentors!
This is really the best sort of blessing any 28 year old can have, I think. Clarity in life. Clarity in direction. Clarity in emotional programming.
So I think I can celebrate 2017 in peace. Because I can breathe so much easier and better now! Life these days also seem so much lighter and I accomplish more by doing way less.
So yes, 2016 is my best year so far, and I owe it to a lot of people. =)
So super thankful! I know I’m very blessed. I thank God for it.