Have you ever tried to help people, and totally got f-over?
Or have you accepted help from people, who later said that you f them over?
Recently I watched a show which discussed this theme of “no good deeds go unpunished”. It got me thinking. A similar theme to this is “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
So, how do we avoid situations of “no good deed go unpunished”? I’d observed some characteristics:
- When money is involved. When money is involved, it is important to 1. clarify expectations and 2. have a good structure to who does what and who is supposed to do what.
- When pride is involved. This is even worse than when money is involved, because emotions are involved. Then it is wise to clarify expectations frequently.
- When you are dealing with a narcissistic person. I think it is best to make it a point to avoid narcissistic people. You don’t need that sort of drama in your life. However, if you are forced to work with someone narcissistic, then it would be good to expect the worst all the time.
Because, this narcissistic person would never give credit to anyone, least of all you! Everything is 100% about his talent, his hard work, his awesomeness, his struggles.
“You will never understand, would you? All you think about is yourself.” <–then he’d use this line on you.
He can conveniently forget that it is you who did the backstage work, you who did the introductions, and you who supported him so well.
Personally, I’m not concerned about credit–credit will never feed you. 😀 What I’m concerned is more about how two people can become enemies due to this sort of fucked up situation.
Sometimes, doing nothing is the best and most difficult decision.
“Help” can start with the best intentions–yet it can highlight so many sort of flaws and vulnerabilities that it’s best not to help in the first place. People might subconsciously think that you look down on them when you help, especially when you guys started as equals. Along the way they might even think that they are entitled to such help.
Don’t groom a cub into a tiger, only to have it kill you eventually, or rob your peace of mind. When you are dealing with situations involving pride, money or narcissistic people, tread with caution. Don’t anyhow help!