Today we were so bored that we sought the expertise of professional troll Shaun Richard Verghese. In this post, Shaun graciously teaches us three sure-fire ways to insult Singaporeans effortlessly.
Shaun is definitely a friendly expert troll! He has an unprecedented number of bans by Facebook because people LOVE reporting his profile and comments as “offensive”. When I first got acquainted with Shaun, I used to wonder why his profile kept disappearing and re-appearing. Later I realised it is because Facebook bans him periodically for 30-days each time the masses report him.
Anyway, Shaun’s trolling remarks have the ability to really fuck up a Singaporean’s mind. He gets our pain points, sore spots, and insecurities. Shaun usually charges USD$1,000 an hour to coach American trolls on how to be more productive online, so we are really grateful that he is sharing with us his top expertise F.O.C as part of nation building today.
Why insult Singaporeans?
Insulting people is fun if you can bear the consequences. Historically, intelligent people have been insulting the less intelligent just to see what happens. Take for instance, Shakespeare:
Yeah, Shakespeare’s character Titus Andronicus actually said the above, and his characters also say a lot of other offensive things too. Jokes aside, knowing what triggers our anger as Singaporeans will also help us identify and subsequently learn to ignore trolls.
Remember: Whenever you feel insulted, the way to respond is not with greater insults, because the troll gets a sick pleasure out of it. I’d teach you how to respond to trolls in the next post.
Ready for more insults? Let’s go!
Insult No.#1. Get a white guy to tell a Singaporean guy that his girlfriend is “easy”.
This is sure to get Singaporean guys riled up.
Don’t believe? Try it out! We don’t take responsibilities for the consequences though.
Insult No. #2. Call a Singaporean an HDB scum, and then proceed to insult his empty bank account.
Basically, pick on how poor or not rich the Singaporean is.
In particular, comment how ugly his bag/ car/ girlfriend/ phone/ pet is.
“Can’t afford nicer things? Oh, poor thing.”
Insult No. #3. Complain about anything in Singapore.
Basically, foreigners are not allowed to complain about anything in Singapore. Singaporeans will ask you to “eat shit and die”, or “go back to your own country”, or “Why are you still here?”
There would also be comments such as “ungrateful foreigner” which will then escalate into a Singapore government bashing post.
Feel free to test out the above insults and let us know what happens!
P.S. In our opinion, Singaporeans tend respond to insults with rage because they are usually very stressed-out and overworked in their daily lives. Therefore, use the above tips with caution. Have fun insulting!