Recently I’d been thinking if I should privatise my blog. The problem with personal, uncommercial blogs is that I have absolutely no incentive for stirring shit, yet my readers know how my views tend to be a little controversial sometimes. So some start accusing me of saying things because they think I have some suspicious backer (yah yes yes yes).-roll eyes-
Sometimes I rant. Sometimes I write nonsense too. If you don’t like what I write, just don’t read? LOL. Nobody held a gun to your head and forced you to come here, right? Did I ever say I’m very good? Or did I ever brand myself as a thought leader? -roll eyes-
This blog will never be monetised–that is to say, I will never accept money for writing stuffs on this channel. Because “follow the money”– and forget it, my voice is not cheap.
The point is that I feel very strongly with some things and I tend not to explain context because I don’t see the need to. Consequently people just anyhow interpret.
It’s very tiring. Every time I write something, some will randomly share my link and discuss on VK (hehe Russian Facebook), Weibo, or some other website. WP does track inbound clicks so I can track. And trust me, I track everything and keep a lot of excel sheets.
And this morning I want to blog about how stupid people really are, including myself.
-Question 1: [ Ability] What makes anyone think that they are in good positions to dish advice, if they don’t operate by the same set of worldview or logic?
-Question 2: [Freedom] What makes anyone think that should dish unsolicited advice?
Context: So let us now talk about a “shyness” problem.
We always like to say to our shy but “really good enough friend”, “Oh, don’t worry, you will definitely find a life partner if you put yourself out there more.”
But honestly, if it is so simple, then why haven’t they? If they know they can get something done by “putting themselves out there” but haven’t, then it means they don’t want to put themselves out there. “Putting themselves on the line” violently contradicts some of the things they believe in–
–This is a very serious problem. I do feel a lot of angst recently because such situations keep recurring in people around me.
Yet at the core, most people who dish advice generously do not get how useless their advice are, due to lack of empathy.
Because you see, this sort of problems can never be solved with complementary skill sets, because it is NOT just a matter of shy-ness. It’s a deeper matter of “a huge mess” which I cannot define because I’m not shy and hence don’t fully understand their internal world.
That is to say, I can identify this problem because I listen to my friends’ hearts, but I cannot solve this problem because “this huge mess” is not articulated yet.
Perhaps the solution lies in positioning. This one also must think very hard how to do. Really super fml.
I’m actually angry with the situation.
It is the same with companies/ countries.
The next time someone says “Ah; they simply need more PR, they are really great enough!” –think further.
Company founders or country leaders are not stupid. If “this company needs more PR” and there is still no PR done after many many years, then it means that this company/ country doesn’t want PR.
Very subtle but real situation.
“How can a country/ company not want PR??”
They can. Because of pride. They think PR is not dignified and hence would not pay for it.
Get it? This is a very serious situation.
So let it drill in–any PR problem is NOT simple. Don’t trivalise the profession, and don’t anyhow assume. It really irritates the heck out of me.
We can never assume we know what people (who are vastly different from us) want just because it makes perfect logical sense to us.
People dish advice all the time! People close to us, people close to heart, people all around us. Their relationship with you is irrelevant, people just think they know better. Why should you listen indiscriminately? Or rather, why are they even continuing this sort of talks even when the heart is tired…?
What then, could be the possible solutions?
- One, Positioning. Make people come to you instead of you to them. Find this gap in the world that you can fill, just as you are. Pick out cases of averse selections. Test it out and make things super easy for yourself.
- Two, don’t listen. Keep going, follow your heart and believe in yourself.