Have you ever thought of the various functions of distance? It comes to me as a shock that some regard “distances” as necessarily bad. I certainly don’t think so.
For example, when I was 17/18ish, I distance myself from people not because I don’t like them, but because I don’t like myself. This has changed very much since then.
So I thought, let’s write some stuffs about the functions of distance today:
Distances are for:
- Preserving a perfect image of somebody. I think sometimes when you really, really look up to somebody, you cannot even stand a speck of imperfection in that person. But you know that everyone is human and that is not possible. With a carefully maintained distance, a certain sense of imagination can take over. Break that distance, and return to reality.
- Lack of desire for association. You simply just don’t want to be associated with that person.
- Crossing, and a goal in itself. You have a distance to be able to cross it, but whether the two people are moving constantly is another thing.
- Maintaining a relationship. Distances are used to respect the hierarchical order, to preserve time, or to give the person space to react.
- Protecting yourself in times of doubt. Basically you distance and guard your own heart when you don’t want to get hurt.
- Not hurting someone. Sometimes you just have to distance yourself from someone because you know you’d hurt them.
- Shy people! 😀 Some people simply are too shy to bridge distances.
Does distancing mean little intimacy? That’s not true. You just need to tease sometimes.