*Hehe* This post is dedicated to Raymond, my friend! 🙂
This morning, Raymond asked me a question of why I like to delete my facebook statuses. I told him it’s because occasionally irritated friends will PM to tell me that I’m spamming their walls. (This happens when I do wedding gown research, it’s really SPAM) So I’d delete statuses once I get a satisfactory answer to my various random questions.
You see, most of my facebook statuses are usually very random ponderings, and sometimes I feel very stupid posting them also, but post them anyway because I want to know a good answer which I honestly feel that I’m not smart enough to think of.
Goh Yong Wei –my fellow genius social media strategist cum entrepreneur–also once commented that I post too much nonsense on my wall, too often. He was like “Do you think people will respect a person who posts so much random stuffs on such a regular basis”?
So there was this one long facebook status where I tagged Raymond (because it was a discussion we had), and he gave quite a wise and relatively long answer, and the next day I deleted it.
So Raymond was like, “Why did you delete it ah, when I gave an answer I put considerable thought into?” Then I said, “Well it’s because I thought the answer was wise, and I got my answer! So why do I spam my friends’ walls?”
Then Raymond went like–
“Are you living in your own world?!?”
“Don’t you realise this is how you make certain people feel that–
- you got the answer, thereafter
- you removed the source, and
- prevented his/her access to it?? In spite of him/her investing thought and emotions into giving a good answer??”
And he said “Deleting statuses is very bad! It breaks trust and makes people feel that you can retract your statements anytime!! It makes them feel that their relationship with you is not permanent!!”
Then I was like 😮 😮 😮 😮 😮 Noooooooo I didn’t have this intention!! I delete because I was spamming some of my fb friends’ walls! I thought I was being considerate by deleting!
So right here, I honestly would like to thank Raymond for being so honest with me.
I DO give people the suspicious vibe sometimes, because of this trait of mine! I always thought commenters of my facebook statuses are “educators”–that is, they comment to educate me, and after I get educated, shouldn’t I do my friends a service by not spamming their walls? Personally I see myself as very narrow-minded, so whenever people comment, just as they are, I will gain some perspective.
And sometimes I feel very ashamed that I ask stupid questions and make stupid statements!! Some other times I don’t usually think before I speak as well! That’s why I delete the silly nonsense random statuses!! 😀
By the way, every time you think a person is suspicious, it could be 2 reasons:
- They are really hiding a lot of information from you. In particular, they know wayyy more about you than you know about them. Raymond also mentioned the Hawthorne Effect.
- They are in their own world and lack general social awareness muhahahahaha.
Hahaha the “ww is in her own world” comment is super hilarious. So you see, for a person who is in her own world to thrive, it is essential to let her know how you feel and not cut communications anyhow! You must let ww know stuffs like “you are being too aggressive! why are you so fierce?” or “why do you anyhow delete my comments??”
Then Raymond continued–
“Why do you need to CARE about your FB friends who have their walls spammed? They can simply UNFOLLOW you. There would be people who would love your random thoughts very very much. And you delete their comments to your status.
Currently what you are doing is to cater to people who will never go all out for you, and pissing off/cutting ties with people who will be loyal to you!!”
That is SUPER WISE!!
Trust me, I’d never considered that before. I always thought that if you are a leader or entrepreneur or some sort, you really should abide to “a proper way” of doing things. I.e. not posting nonsense, attracting the “right” folks, giving the “right” impression, etc.
And the leaders around me are never posting nonsense, right? I mean they all seem to think before they speak, whereas I tend to just post random things I feel or am thinking about at the moment.
It’s true that “lukewarm” is bad for any brands. “Lukewarm” is rather spineless, and the polarised masses would end up being indifferent about your brand. Branding IS supposed to polarize the market, such that people who really like you will like you, and people who really don’t like you will not like you.
That might well be the function of branding! You only attract people who are naturally attracted to you, just as you are, and don’t attract people who are not naturally attracted to you, just as you are.
Then you must have mental strength to deal with all the shitty hate comments. Personally, I am not THAT mentally strong, which is why I think sometimes I listen to nonsense FB friends who don’t even matter.
So yes, I agree very much with Raymond. To be honest, I really like posting random nonsense on my wall on a frequent basis whahahahhaha. So this made me realise that I am not appearing “just as I am”.
And I want to try more to appear just as I am, because I think that is the most empowering part to my “true self”. I don’t want to abide by some sort of pseudo “right” leadership image anymore.
To hell with “proper leadership image”. I kinda know my value and worth.
Feel free to unfollow.
It will liberate you and me!