Prior to doing my masters in Finland, I always thought that ignoring someone/something is rude.
I think this is mainly because life is so fast-paced in Singapore. We don’t play with the concept of “pace” or “time”–if someone scolds us, we are quick to be offended and would want to scold back immediately. I don’t think we play a lot with “being vague” also–Singaporeans are pretty direct, talk a lot, and by extension scolds/nags a lot too.
But why haven’t we thought more about the virtues of ignoring someone or something? If you think about it, mastering the art of ignoring is actually more efficient.
This morning, I read screenshots of a Facebook conversation of two people who got into a very stupid argument. I happened to be FB friends with both parties, who shared the unpleasant and (very stupid) dispute with the whole world.
Context: The guy met the girl on tinder. The guy was basically trying to convince the girl to go on a car ride with him, but the girl kept telling him that she’s not interested, and please to not contact her anymore. The guy then flew into this narcissistic rage, saying “how can she say I am not important, doesn’t she know how much power and riches I have because I own a car…” etcetc.
So both decided to flame each other on social media.
Well, I currently do think the conversation is stupid because if the girl is not impressed by the guy, the conversation ends, and the guy should just move on. Because, there would always be girls who are impressed by guys who have cars. There is no need to try to impress a lady who has repeatedly vocalised that she is not impressed.
There is also no need to entertain a guy after saying it once that you are not interested,or try to scold a person who simply wants your admiration to boost his own ego. Just ignore subsequent interactions before the dispute escalates!
Yet this sort of conversations or interactions is not uncommon. We always witness really stupid arguments related to the ego. People like that can’t win you based on logic (because it’s an “ego” argument), so they retort based on personal attacks or really stupid ad hominem. “You don’t agree with me? You’re actually ugly, you know that?”
The only reason why people do not ignore stupidity/ stupid statements/ stupid people is because of their own pride. That is, they want to be right all the time/believe stupid delusional things– to protect their own fragile egos.
Maybe we should learn not to be so narcissistic. (: Get right back in touch with your own sense of pace and time.