Today I looked up at the beautiful night sky and thought of a pretty friend who committed suicide 5 years ago. She had an aspiration of becoming a news broadcaster.
She was a perfectionist. And a great singer. She was beautiful. I told her after watching her on stage one day, in awe–“I think you were stunning!” –and she downplayed it.
I went to her performances whenever I could.
I still feel acute pain today whenever I hear her voice. I really miss her.
You would have been on TV today if you were still alive. We would have been serving the masses together.
I was fondly reminded of her recently because of the Channel 8 Korean TV drama about the two sisters who work as news broadcasters. Whenever I see the protagonists I’d think of this pretty friend who is close to perfect on all measures.
This friend is someone I look up to, because she is very true to herself and had character. She always does things with clear intentions and decisive actions. She’s someone I could trust, and we had some pretty close personality traits–frank, direct, and sometimes rash.
So today, because I thought of her, I wrote this equation:
Intention + Action = Character.
Character informs trust, and a person’s character can be inferred from his intention and action.
- Can you have good intention and bad action? Yes. But that results in a “floaty” kind of self. A lot of “dreamers” are like that–they talk/dream all day, but do nothing And surely doing nothing over time can be considered “bad action”.
- Can you have bad intention and good action? Yes too. But that’s hardly sustainable, mentally healthy, or respectable. If a person can be like that, he/she might as well be trained to do things with good intentions, since he/she already have the capabilities to execute things well. Then I think, he/she should get a visionary role model to teach him/her what “vision” is.
This equation is pretty interesting to think about, isn’t it?
I guess the “why” of trust comes from “character”, and the “how” of trust comes from empathy. The strength of character informs us “why” we should trust a particular person, and the “how” of trust comes via empathy, resulting in the effective display of common ground via good communication.
I’d probably always have to struggle with the memory of this friend who showed me what good character was.
If only if you weren’t so harsh on yourself.
I hope you’re happier now.