(Feature Picture: SG50 Photo by The Boyfriend)
I loved 2015 more than I loved 2014. 😀
2015 was truly a year of growth! I felt that I’d learnt way more than I could imagine in 2015 as compared to any past year of my life. But most importantly, I’d achieved clarity over what I’d wanted in life.
The interesting part of it all is that this clarity did not come only through happy things, but also through unpleasant and shocking things. I think I did a lot of successful things in 2015. But I also think I failed in some areas.
We always feel sad over disappointments and personal failures. I’m one person who’s particularly harsh on myself whenever I fail in something. But this year, what I’d learnt is that if in spite of failing, you’d still want to continue in the direction where you are walking, then that -thing- is probably important to you.
It’s just like how sometimes, people whom you look up to can fail you. It can be a loved one, a role model, a person whose attention you want. But I guess I learnt that everyone is in a unique situation of their own, and sometimes the onus is on you to keep a distance. 🙂
Because if you keep a distance, at least the memories are still happy, even if this person whom you used to respect a lot becomes a past tense. You can still smile and think “Ah at this point in my past, this person had been really kind to me.”
Let the disappointing people die or fade, and live in the happy memories of the past. I learnt to let go because that phase and chapter had closed. But I do feel happy sincerely that sad things happened because it made me a better human being, even if disappointing people choose to be low-balls. Feel sorry for them.
The present and future are exclusively for those who remain and are there for you. Cherish and don’t hurt them.
2015 was also a year that was somehow political, in all sense of the word. It was a year of the ego–mine and others– and I realized very acutely that people have egos to protect their fragile selves.
This is why to be effective in life and to get things done, it is vital to make people feel important. And the difference between bootlicking and admiring someone is intention and sincerity. Compliment people genuinely and do things without expectation.
In terms of politics–like real governmental politics–I learnt that it’s never about who is “right” or “wrong”, but everything about systems and trade-offs. I learnt that close networks exist because of trust, but can be easily misinterpreted as nepotism, cronyism or racism.
And before any “ambitious” person or group wants to exact change, it is critical to see that they are nobodies in the current system. Anybody who wants change has to go against the status quo– a whole group that is anti-change. It’s that simple! :p It’s the interest of this narcissistic group against the interest of the status quo– so unless you see the real interest and reality for yourself, if you ever belong to the “hero, we want change” sort of group, perhaps learn to be more humble. Systems are hard to change, because deep down inside people want the systems to persist! All ambition requires a healthy ecosystem of support–failing which, it’s just delusional. :p
And I realized too, that delusion is a choice, even in the face of hard facts, and there are ways to inspire people out of what they currently are without being directly confrontational. And sometimes there are no ways, so effectively you can’t do anything and are forced to watch the person screw up. And sometimes too, you think you can do something, but you’re actually wrong and will contribute to the worsening of the situation, so not doing anything is a choice.
Perhaps, sometimes it is not up to you to change the course of a person’s life, even if you think there exists a better version of himself/herself had he/she dared to dream bigger. One can only hint in a gentle way, after listening sincerely to a person’s story and perspective. I think– it all depends on the level of delusion the person is in. It happens to me too, I’m sometimes deluded in certain areas–until a big shock happens, then I’m jolted out of the situation and can see things clearly. Until that happens, rarely can people talk me out of things I’d set my mind to do. So I’d learnt also to listen more and to be more open-minded. 🙂
I think it is important to make the choice to be a better human being, but I’d also accepted that not everyone agrees with this.
Moving forward, in 2016, there are a couple of things I want to do, which include:
- Doing more for the Singapore fashion scene
- Attending more grassroot activities
- Attending more digital marketing conferences
- Cleanse my body more via yummy veg drinks
- Do better to be more diplomatic and empathetic than I currently am.
- Championing anti-cyberbullying activities. (You have no idea how many emails I get for request on advice to cope with online bullying, harassment and stalkerish behavior)
I feel that I’m owning more and more of my life.
And maybe that’s what matters, in the end–living life on your terms. But don’t fail fast, succeed fast. 😛 I’m ready for 2016. ^^ ♡