Hmm this is a random observation I have observed from class, school, society and life recently:
Raw honesty really doesn`t pay.
Yesterday we had this series of presentations, and I`d noticed that the commentator who gave the best (and most legit) critique ended up being bitched about after class. The commentator was not me by the way. 😛
Personally, I rather have honest and harsh comments anyday backed with recommendated ways to improve, rather than “nice, fluffy sweet-nothings” that results in a potentially more deadly outcome of delusion.
But you see, those people who say nice nothings don`t get bitched about.
Saying what you think really does not pay in human relationships, because you might be wrong, and you might simply be deluded yourself. But mostly it is because people want to hear nice stuffs about themselves. It is just human nature!
My genius friend Emma wrote about this in her post on “niceness”, which I think is a really great post. That post is probably is something I will never write, because I had always equated “niceness” as “spineless” instead of being “open minded”.
But I think my type of directness and straightforwardness intimidates others sometimes, and I really think it is time for me to change. I need to learn how to get along well with a greater diversity of people!
So– I have decided to be polite and fake polite to everyone, even people I find ridiculous. This perhaps is the best self-protecting mechanism. =)
In fact I am going to challenge myself to say nice-nothings to people whom I do not care about too, instead of being honest.
This is because not everyone wants to improve. If they are not ready or want to improve, I think I won`t push my views on them, but will just smile. I think perhaps, it might always be a conscious and consistent choice to be mediocre / always in your comfort zone.
I am not sure where sarcasm fits into this new plan, but I might find out soon.
Raw honesty is seldom good for workplace situation, especially when nobody asked for your opinion. Even if it might potentially change your listener for the better. But, perhaps, always sugar coat.