Beauty, Expression, Relationships, Suomi
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[Just for fun] How to get a Finnish girlfriend.


P/S. Want more candid posts like this? Please support The Hieno! by buying our “How to get a Finnish Girlfriend” e-book! We use the proceeds to do site maintenance.


This post is on the 3 guidelines to getting a Finnish girlfriend. Here are the 5 reasons why Finnish girls are hot. I thought very, very hard about how to make this a complementary, step-by-step foolproof post to “4 Simple Steps to Getting a Finnish Boyfriend”, but it really cannot be done.

This is probably because like ladies all over the world, Finnish ladies are waaaaaaaaaaay more complicated than Finnish men. In fact, if you want to date a Finnish lady, you should just treat her like how you would treat any other lady, and not go by nationality.


However, because I’d observed some quirks common to most of my Finnish girl friends, I came up with 3 guidelines. The key difference betweenΒ  “guidelines” and “steps” is that “guidelines” are more general and have to be adapted to each lady. Steps on the other hand, are more foolproof and “brainless”. This means, don’t be an asshole and go on and on about yourself throughout the dinner date. Be nice and sweet and listen to her!

The 3 guidelines are written from my personal observations and friends’ (both ladies and gentlemen) sharing. Surprisingly, when it comes to foreign men dating Finnish ladies, there is a common tendency for the foreign man to think that he did everything wrong in the courtship process, but somehow still got the lady.

This is perhaps the mysterious allure of Finnish ladies…Maybe?!πŸ˜€

Or it could simply be the silly foreign guys who are unwilling to share their secrets with us.


Anyway I personally think that all females are mysterious to various extent. I have a close friend who is a playboy, and he likes to use the metaphor of a vending machine to describe both sexes. For men–he says–you can put a coin into the vending machine, push a button, and get an expected drink. For women however, you can never know what will come out of the machine.

-frowns- Food for thought, eh?? Without further ado, here are the 3 guidelines:

Guideline #1: Be comfortable and happy in your own skin.


I think Finnish girls value guys who are comfortable in their own skin. Note that I say “comfortable in their own skin”, and not “the best version of themselves”. According to my observations, Finnish girls tend to be OK with the former, while East-Asian/Singaporean girls tend to regard both the former and the latter as prerequisites.

I guess this is because Finnish girls tend to value a guy for what he is, but Singaporean girls tend to value a guy for what he is and will be. For example, I haven’t heard of a guy who is rejected by a Finnish girl because he is not rich enough. But I have heard of quite a handful of East-Asian/Singaporean ladies rejecting guys because of their financial status.

How nice is it to have a Finnish lady who loves you just as you are.πŸ™‚

Guideline #2: Recognize that in spite of their relative independence, Finnish ladies are pretty girly at heart!


Finnish ladies–or Nordic ladies in general– are super independent. For example, most have the ability to fix and drive cars, carry really heavy things, and are not whiny.

However, because of this independence, it is tempting to assume that Finnish girls are less girly than say, East-Asian girls. This perception is amplified by the absence of the concept of amaeru/ 撒娇/ 애ꡐ in Nordic countries, especially in Finland. This term is roughly translated as “dependence” in the English language. The nuance of this term “amaeru/ 撒娇/ 애ꡐ” however, is not translatable–it probably IS unique to East-Asian/Singaporean cultures. If you are interested in studying more about the concept, please watch this video.

Well I tried explaining the term “amaeru” to my Finnish boyfriend, and he frowned and went,

“Huuhhhhh, does this mean that you act like a kid in order to be considered attractive to the opposite sex???”

Actually, yes! Wikipedia defines “amaeru/애ꡐ/撒娇” this way:

“Aegyo (Korean: 애ꡐ, hanja: ζ„›ε¬Œ) in Korean refers to a cute display of affection often expressed through a cute/baby voice, facial expressions, and gestures. Aegyo literally means behaving in a coquette-ish manner and is commonly expected for male and female k-pop idols to behave this way. However, it is not considered weird if normal, non-celebrities behave in such a way, too, since it is merely an expression of affection to loved ones and friends.

So this gets me thinking, if Finnish girls don’t have the terms “amaeru/애ꡐ/撒娇” in their Finnish language and culture, does this mean that they are inherently different from an East-Asian/Singaporean lady like myself?

The answer is no. Girls are girls and ladies are ladies, no matter the nationality. The nature is the same. The mystery is also the same.

My personal conclusion is that culture and language shape the way we behave, but within we are all the same. I have two Finnish girl friends for example, who like Hello Kitty but do not openly admit it because in Finland, a love for Hello Kitty is seen as childish. You discover such girly quirks in Finnish ladies only over time–there are no Hello Kitties on their social media platforms simply because it is seen as “childish” and frowned upon.

East Asian ladies on the other hand seriously SPAM hello kitty stuffs. Want to know if a East-Asian/Singaporean lady likes hello kitty? Just check out her facebook or instagram.

So my advice to you is–if you are dating a Finnish lady, look out for the hidden girl in her. It could seriously be very silly things like glitter, crystals, lace, ribbons, pink, or colourful things. Once you discover the girly thing she likes, you can make stuffs she likes for her in secret, or buy girly things for her! So this precious unspoken secret belongs to just you and her. ^-^

Anyway this subtlety is something I really like about Finnish culture hehe. Because of the societal expectation of ALL FINNS to be adult-like, serious and humble at all times, whenever you discover a secretly-girly or secretly-bitchy side to a Finn, you’d be really happy! It’s as though you’d earned a higher level in the relationship.πŸ˜€

Oh and most Finnish girls can cook well. Just saying.

Guideline 3: Take note of details and compliment her for it.


One thing I’d noticed about some Finnish ladies, for example, is the attention paid to their MANICURE.

I can’t help but look at the manicures of Finnish ladies, just like how I openly stare at tattoos against pale skin. You’d rarely see a Finnish lady with imperfect manicure. IF their nails are really terribly done, they’d apologize about it.

Also, usually the colour of the manicure matches the colour of what they are wearing. It’s really amazing and consistent! Try to pay closer attention in future– Finnish girls really tend to have close-to-perfect manicures, and not manicures that are “anyhow” and hastily applied!

Another detail is the blonde hair colour. It is tempting to think that blonde is just blonde, but that is not true. I have some Finnish girlfriends who sometimes dye their hair to one lighter shade of blonde, and unless you observe closely, this is not easily visible. Always remember to compare the hair root colour to the rest of the hair strand.

So, to me, Finnish ladies are pretty meticulous and pay close attention to details. Therefore, I think complementing them on details would greatly set you apart from other guys, if you do notice!!

Tip: If you are a foreign guy, you have a natural advantage! Because I don’t think most Finnish guys tend to compliment their girlfriend much on details.


OKAY I think this is all I have to say about getting a Finnish girlfriend! If you are a foreign guy, you probably have a higher chance of getting a Finnish girlfriend than a Finnish boy. Unless the girl likes a Finnish guy who grunts and feeds them (like yours truly, hehe.) But no, I think Finnish ladies are not as weird as I am–so….

All the best in getting a Finnish girlfriend, bro! I think if I were a guy I’d go for a Finnish girl too. TEEHEE! ❀ β™‘ ❀


  1. Dear “sooyoung”, thank you for reading “all” my posts. Maybe you can consider using a real name and email address when commenting in future. I’d encourage you to be less insecure of who you are, and not fake even your nationality.πŸ™‚

    I mentioned about East-Asians only because I’d been an official youth ambassador of–and lived in–Korea and Japan for some time to make informed opinions. I don’t have enough knowledge to talk about South Asians or Vietnamese. It is not a good idea to make generalization about the whole Asian region, don’t you think?πŸ™‚

    And…In case you didn’t read carefully, the concept of “amaeru” is common to China, Japan and Korea– as I have clearly shown with extensive references in this post.

    FYI, Vietnam is in South-East Asia, in case you don’t know. Don’t be confused!πŸ™‚

    I agree that South Asian ladies are beautiful, if by South Asians you refer to Indian ladies. =) I love Nandana Sen!! She’s super hot. *_*

  2. Arash says

    Hi. I’m an Iranian Boy recently moved to Helsiniki. I don’t know Finnish and I think there’s no shot for me to be a finnish girl. They’re so cute and honest. What do you suggest?

    • Hello Arash,

      Thank you for your comment! Iranian guys are hot and have the most beautiful eyes ever! *-*

      I’d suggest just being awesome, and the better/best version of yourself.πŸ˜€ Anyway, you speak English, and I think that’s good enough. Sometimes when I speak to my blonde Finnish girlfriends, they say they like black haired guys over blonde guys HAHAHAHA.

      All the best, keep me updated when you find your pretty finnish girlfriend! ^^


  3. John says

    Hello! Thank you for your post! I am a fairly religious (Christian) man and live by my faith as a way to help people. Do you have any advice for meeting or getting to know Christian Finns? Thank youπŸ™‚

  4. Bjarke says

    Is there a finish dating site for foreginers who wants to meet up with a finish girl? Im from Denmark and would LOVE to date a finish girlπŸ™‚

  5. Lars says

    Hi, thank you for for the post! I’m ethically Korean but grew up in Germany so I mostly lived around a lot of white people. Anyways, I don’t know why but there is something about blonde women that makes me attracted to them, particularly the Finns. I’m not saying other races including my fellow Koreans are unattractive (in fact, I’ve seen a lot of attractive Asian girls eye me quite frequently when I visited Korea and Japan, including strangers) but I seem to like the Nordic look more and I feel quite strange since I’m Asian myself. I enjoyed the guidelines you wrote but I think my chances of landing with a Finnish girl are quite slim. I’ve met some in Germany and my god they were stunners. They were friendly and open to conversations but still, I felt I had no chance with them, almost as if they were completely out of my league. The most I did was shake hands with them and a simple goodbye when it was over. I didn’t go any further. Maybe I’m just having self esteem issues because even up till college now, I’ve never been in any relationships and I’m not the most social person around. I guess the reason is my fault mostly since I was more focused about academics during school and I lacked the interest to pursue. No I’m not some nerd because I’m quite athletic (did competitive swimming in the United States and I do mma in my free time) and love hanging out with my friends a lot. But when it comes to women, I’m just some antisocial wimp, which can be a huge turn off. Another reason why, which is kind of dumb, is because of my race. I know blaming your background for your problems is pretty juvenile but you rarely see white girls with an Asian guy and that only takes away more hope. Anyways, I’m planning to go Finland sometime, perhaps for an exchange program in my college. I’m not gonna try to immediately go for them but maybe I can try to get to know them more and then decide from there. What do you think of this and what do Finnish girls think of Asians like myself? Do they go for foreigners or is it gonna be harder for me than their fellow natives? It’s fine to be completely honest if you’re gonna answer. I just need insight from someone like you since you seem to know a lot about Finland and its people. Thank you!

    • Hello, thank you for your comment!

      A caveat: My writings are completely based on a narrow set of data lol, do bear that in mind before taking any adviceπŸ™‚

      If I were you, Id think that the best strategy is to let a Finnish girl approach me. You seem to be a bit socially awkward with ladies, which is perfectly normal. Some ladies (regardless of race or looks) have this soft spot for slightly shy guys because they don’t bullshit.

      So Id make use of the hallyu culture in finland and make myself visible to finnish ladies who like k-Pop and korean culture.πŸ˜‰ there are korean pop clubs and sub-cultures all around in finland. In this way, you completely eliminate the white-men colonialism effect that you are bothered with.πŸ™‚

      Be careful not to end up in religious cults disguised as korean lifestyle groups though (drop me an email to check beforehand). There are some. But most korean lifestyle hobby clubs in finland are perfectly legit.

      It doesn’t even matter if you don’t give a damn about korean pop or drama LoL! once you get the girl, just visit the club less if that’s the case! Lol

      Think it will work–keep me updated.πŸ˜‰ all the best, aja aja fighting!

    • Katja says

      There is A LOT of finnish girls who love asian guys, I myself included,BUT if you only want the stunning blonde finnish girls, then you might never get one. Many of are brunettes and even the blonde ones can dye their hair black etc. Also are you really into just the image of a finnish girl that is innocent and pure, because they will lead the way and sometimes men can feel emasculated if they are not used to that. Also finnish girls don’t just let you off the hook when it comes to taking care of children and housing etc. So just really think about it, can you handle a finnish girl even if you want one.

      • Agree 100% to the point on the blonde Finnish ladies. ^^
        I must apologise if my post gave the impression that all Finnish ladies are blonde–they are not!πŸ˜‰
        A huge huge disclaimer: my post was talking about common stereotypes of “ideal” Finnish ladies portrayed via Finnish media, and it was written in a bimbotic manner.
        So thank you for your comment, Katja!πŸ™‚

        I love most Finnish ladies hehe they’re very strong and no-nonsense. ^^

  6. Jokk says

    First of all, congratulations for the post, so good πŸ™‚βœŒοΈ

    Here a guy from Barcelona, 20, who is living in Finland since last January (2016) and until next January (2017).
    I got in love with Finland for lot of things, one of them girls of course, and for this reason I decided to study in Finland next years.
    And I was wondering where it can be more “easy” to find a Finnish girlfriend, North? South?
    And… It’s a fake feeling or they love Spannish people? It’s so easy and normal that girls get interested in you when they see me and they know I’m from Spain.

    Kiitos! (Learning Finnish lenguage)

    • Hello Jokk!

      Come on–it’s Barcelona!πŸ˜€ if you are at least decent looking, you will be approached by girls everywhere! I guess the stereotypical Spanish guy is wayyyy more expressive than a sterotypical Finn, and therefore more popular with Finnish ladies here.

      Just gotta make yourself available for and visible in social events. I don’t see a problem for you– If you confess to five Finnish girls you like, I’m positive at least one will say yes!πŸ™‚

      Just position yourself where you can find at least 5 girls whom you like to confess to, in sequence!

      All the best! πŸ‘

  7. Jimmy says

    Hi, what If I come from Australia and want to spend a couple of weeks in Finland: do you think I could succeed in getting a girlfriend just for that period? πŸ˜† I fear she would barely move here
    Oh last but not least it is relieving to know they are meticulous; I would never date a smelly uneducated girl in scruffy clothes πŸ˜•

  8. Hi
    I am from Africa in South Africa & black. I was planing to move to Fin for 3 years. I like to know do they (Fin women)go fo black African?

    • I think character is key!πŸ˜€ Don’t worry, you’d find a girl you like!πŸ™‚
      Personally, I think race is a non-issue especially in Helsinki.

  9. Bahram says

    Thanks so much for the post
    I am bahram from afghanistan
    So i am tring to find a girl friend
    But i can’t find,can you help me plesae
    How i can find??

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