(Peter Franzén, Source)
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Hello ladies and gentlemen! The previous post 4 Simple Steps to Getting a Finnish Boyfriend! went viral, and is now widely referenced to on various Finnish forums, ask.fm and even VK OMG.
Everyone wants a Finnish Boyfriend!!! ♡♡♡
Some of the comments in Finnish were like “Okay the post is about getting a Finnish boyfriend, but what if I want a Finnish boy out of my league?”
I thought this was an excellent question! So, let me do a sequel post for the ambitious:
“What if you want to get a good-looking, intelligent Finnish boyfriend but is afraid that he is out of your league? ♡♡♡♡♡♡“
You should still go for him anyway, AND without fear.
Here are three reasons why:
- Reason #1: Finnish boys seem unapproachable.
Here is the logic: Given the global media’s high valuation of tall, good-looking blonde guys, anxiety on the part of girls’ is inevitable. Whenever a girl confesses to ANY boy she perceives as out of her league, there would be fear–
“I’m definitely not hot enough; what if he rejects me? It’d be so embarrassing.”
In addition, Finnish boys tend not to smile, and their default face is fierce and frown-y. Because of the fierce-looking default faces, if you ever meet a good-looking Finnish engineer in the Otaniemi campus @Aalto for example, it’s tempting to just think “Awww so cute and good-looking, but a pity he won’t be mine.” There is a perception that Finnish boys are NOT approachable.
HOWEVER, when you think this way, other girls think this way too. So in the end this good-looking, socially awkward, shy engineer with a fierce good-looking face gets zero girls approaching him. And he feels a lot of anxiety approaching pretty girls, so perhaps he starts to give up. So in the end he ends up good-looking AND single, since his social circle has a grand total of 4 girls– all his friends’ girlfriends.
Don’t you think THIS is awesome, because this means YOU won’t get competition once he becomes your boyfriend?
So you should just go for him. Be proactive: Make the first step, talk to him, understand him, be nice and encouraging.
- Reason #2: Finnish Boys are underrated.
This is a modern-day phenomenon that is widely agreed upon.
Yet why is this so? Why are good-looking, intelligent Finnish guys who cook and build houses for their girlfriends underrated? Who underrrates them?
The answer can be found in the national history of Finland. Finland used to be part of Sweden for many, many years, and when Finland finally became independent, some richer and blond-er Swedes were saying that “LOL Finland as a country is sure to fail.”
Therefore, it is inevitable that there is an ongoing Swedish-Finnish rivalry in everything, including how the men see themselves vis-a-vis each other. Nationality becomes an issue, simply because Finland is a young nation, so Finnish men are still learning to define themselves. This rivalry expresses itself in a healthy manner, for instance, in the annual ice hockey tournaments.
So you see, when Finnish boys define themselves, there is a tendency to define themselves as “NOT Swedish”. Let me show you the unconscious logic:
- To Swedish boys, Finnish boys= Barbaric, “caveman”, ignorant, no fashion sense, socially awkward;
- To Finnish boys, Swedish boys= Metrosexual, NOT masculine, too modern, talks too much nonsense, fake.
Notice that the Finnish boy definition is the anti-thesis of the Swedish boys’. This has huge implications, because it means that the chances of a Finnish boy seeing himself as “having great fashion sense” is probably low, since being fashionable is a Swedish trait.
Silly reasoning but it happens!
Okay so what does this mean for YOU, the ambitious girl who wants to get a Finnish boy above her league? This means that it is The Finnish Boy who underrates himself, on top of history and the media.
In other words, there is a tendency for Finnish boys to be extremely good-looking, smart, BUT with lower self-confidence when it comes to girls, as compared to Swedish boys.
Which logically then means that it’s easier to get a good-looking Finnish boy, than a good-looking Swedish boy–if you are proactive! You should never let the fierce-looking default face get to you!
Confess anyway if you like the boy! ^^
Reason 3: I really don’t think you would be rejected, even if he is out of your league.
This is simply because of the way Finnish boys are brought up. They are brought up to take really good care of girls.
This makes sense. If Finnish guys were to buy into the “caveman/forest/country-bumpkin” metaphor of themselves, it means that they have a strong, fixed set of what it means to be masculine.
In Finland, there is no concept of masculinity such as “pretty boys”, or “bishonen”. Bishonen means that a guy can look pretty and still be a gentleman, still be strong and assertive, still be able to build houses and cut trees. These type of guys are extremely popular in East-Asia, especially China, Japan and Korea, simply because they look good! However, if a Finnish guy is fashionable and flirts, he is Swedish-like. #enhyväksy #disapproves #frowns
“YOU TRAITOR! HOW CAN YOU BE SWEDISH-LIKE! WE FINNISH BOYS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER!”
So, this is why I think you won’t be rejected even if you do go for a Finnish boy outside your league. Because Finnish boys are brought up to have a stronger sense of the set of “masculine” traits commonly accepted globally, such as “cavemen-as-protector-of-women”. So I think there is a high chance that a Finnish boy would accept you if you confess.
But please use your brains and plan strategically for a little bit. Go google “how to confess without seeming awkward”, for example. If you need an additional brain to strategize with you, I’m always here HAHA.
Okay, IF you are really scared of being rejected, go target a good-looking engineer in Otaniemi. There are a lot of good-looking engineers in Otaniemi, who can build tons of things and cook really well! There should be a higher chance of success if you target boys there, because they tend to be more introverted.
OK that’s all for today–hope you have enjoyed this post! I’m going back to work, see you!
P.S. I receive notifications of ALL external links to this blog, so I do actually read random forum discussions with links back to The Hieno when I’m bored. Keep the discussions going–it’s interesting! ^^