Muse, Random, Relationships
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[Just for fun] 3 Reasons why you should go for a Finnish guy above your league. (Hint: It’s easier than you think)

(Peter Franzén, Source)

P/S. Want more candid posts like this? Please support The Hieno! by buying our “How to get a Finnish Boyfriend” e-book! We use the proceeds to do site maintenance.

Hello ladies and gentlemen! The previous post 4 Simple Steps to Getting a Finnish Boyfriend! went viral, and is now widely referenced to on various Finnish forums, and even VK OMG.

Everyone wants a Finnish Boyfriend!!!

Some of the comments in Finnish were like “Okay the post is about getting a Finnish boyfriend, but what if I want a Finnish boy out of my league?”

I thought this was an excellent question! So, let me do a sequel post for the ambitious:

“What if you want to get a good-looking, intelligent Finnish boyfriend but is afraid that he is out of your league?

You should still go for him anyway, AND without fear.

Here are three reasons why:

  • Reason #1: Finnish boys seem unapproachable.


(Source. He’s River Viiperi by the way, here’s his instagram)

Here is the logic: Given the global media’s high valuation of tall, good-looking blonde guys, anxiety on the part of girls’ is inevitable. Whenever a girl confesses to ANY boy she perceives as out of her league, there would be fear–

“I’m definitely not hot enough; what if he rejects me? It’d be so embarrassing.”

In addition, Finnish boys tend not to smile, and their default face is fierce and frown-y. Because of the fierce-looking default faces, if you ever meet a good-looking Finnish engineer in the Otaniemi campus @Aalto for example, it’s tempting to just think “Awww so cute and good-looking, but a pity he won’t be mine.” There is a perception that Finnish boys are NOT approachable.

HOWEVER, when you think this way, other girls think this way too. So in the end this good-looking, socially awkward, shy engineer with a fierce good-looking face gets zero girls approaching him. And he feels a lot of anxiety approaching pretty girls, so perhaps he starts to give up. So in the end he ends up good-looking AND single, since his social circle has a grand total of 4 girls– all his friends’ girlfriends.

Don’t you think THIS is awesome, because this means YOU won’t get competition once he becomes your boyfriend?

So you should just go for him. Be proactive: Make the first step, talk to him, understand him, be nice and encouraging.

  • Reason #2: Finnish Boys are underrated. 


(Source. Olavi Uusivirta)

This is a modern-day phenomenon that is widely agreed upon.

Yet why is this so? Why are good-looking, intelligent Finnish guys who cook and build houses for their girlfriends underrated? Who underrrates them?

The answer can be found in the national history of Finland. Finland used to be part of Sweden for many, many years, and when Finland finally became independent, some richer and blond-er Swedes were saying that “LOL Finland as a country is sure to fail.”

Therefore, it is inevitable that there is an ongoing Swedish-Finnish rivalry in everything, including how the men see themselves vis-a-vis each other. Nationality becomes an issue, simply because Finland is a young nation, so Finnish men are still learning to define themselves. This rivalry expresses itself in a healthy manner, for instance, in the annual ice hockey tournaments.

So you see, when Finnish boys define themselves, there is a tendency to define themselves as “NOT Swedish”. Let me show you the unconscious logic:

  • To Swedish boys, Finnish boys= Barbaric, “caveman”, ignorant, no fashion sense, socially awkward;
  • To Finnish boys, Swedish boys= Metrosexual, NOT masculine, too modern, talks too much nonsense, fake.

Notice that the Finnish boy definition is the anti-thesis of the Swedish boys’. This has huge implications, because it means that the chances of a Finnish boy seeing himself as “having great fashion sense” is probably low, since being fashionable is a Swedish trait.

Silly reasoning but it happens!

Okay so what does this mean for YOU, the ambitious girl who wants to get a Finnish boy above her league? This means that it is The Finnish Boy who underrates himself, on top of history and the media.

In other words, there is a tendency for Finnish boys to be extremely good-looking, smart, BUT with lower self-confidence when it comes to girls, as compared to Swedish boys.

Which logically then means that it’s easier to get a good-looking Finnish boy, than a good-looking Swedish boy–if you are proactive! You should never let the fierce-looking default face get to you!

Confess anyway if you like the boy! ^^

Reason 3: I really don’t think you would be rejected, even if he is out of your league.


(Sami Lepistö, Source)

This is simply because of the way Finnish boys are brought up. They are brought up to take really good care of girls.

This makes sense. If Finnish guys were to buy into the “caveman/forest/country-bumpkin” metaphor of themselves, it means that they have a strong, fixed set of what it means to be masculine.

In Finland, there is no concept of masculinity such as “pretty boys”, or “bishonen”. Bishonen means that a guy can look pretty and still be a gentleman, still be strong and assertive, still be able to build houses and cut trees. These type of guys are extremely popular in East-Asia, especially China, Japan and Korea, simply because they look good! However, if a Finnish guy is fashionable and flirts, he is Swedish-like. #enhyväksy #disapproves #frowns


So, this is why I think you won’t be rejected even if you do go for a Finnish boy outside your league. Because Finnish boys are brought up to have a stronger sense of the set of “masculine” traits commonly accepted globally, such as “cavemen-as-protector-of-women”. So I think there is a high chance that a Finnish boy would accept you if you confess.

But please use your brains and plan strategically for a little bit. Go google “how to confess without seeming awkward”, for example. If you need an additional brain to strategize with you, I’m always here HAHA.

Okay, IF you are really scared of being rejected, go target a good-looking engineer in Otaniemi. There are a lot of good-looking engineers in Otaniemi, who can build tons of things and cook really well! There should be a higher chance of success if you target boys there, because they tend to be more introverted.

OK that’s all for today–hope you have enjoyed this post! I’m going back to work, see you!

P.S. I receive notifications of ALL external links to this blog, so I do actually read random forum discussions with links back to The Hieno when I’m bored. Keep the discussions going–it’s interesting! ^^


  1. Hi WW..

    Oh my Gooood! It’s such an insights heaven when I found your blog about this Finnish things ;D
    Very spot on and make me wanna pack my things and stay in Finland soon. About Finnish guys, now I understand why a guy I know not really stands out. He seems low-profile, be careful about what he says, and a master of silence in 2 languages.

    But, I also like the charm of Swedish guys. They’re freaking stylish and so neat. I think you are right about approaching a good looking Finnish guy is much more easier than Swedish himself.

    Anyway, wanna talk to you a little bit (read: long way) via email. But cannot see any email to be contacted.

  2. Laura Tischler says

    hi 🙂 I just got to know this finnish guy and OMG he’s so cute. so I texted him and he was very nice and so on and the next day or so…well I texted him again…and then I waited a few days but he is not fucking texting!XD but when we chat he does not seem uninterested at least (even though he’s not flirting of course) But I feel so annoying always texting him first >< you could say….go on just tell him you like him! but the problem is…he will be here for only a few month left, then he is going back to finland and I also dont really want a serious relationship…just get to know him and have some fun ^^ So I cant just text him 'Ilove you' XDXD how am I aproaching him, without doing it to slow so he would thing I want something serious but also not to fast so I wont scare him away? XDXD

    • Nin says


      May I help to answer, Laura? ;>

      Seriously, but Finnish guys are not born for small talking. They just don’t know how to start the conversation and rather to have something straightforward. They’d rather reply with one or two words (plus or just emoticons) in texting. They prefer texting over phone calling. And they typically don’t pursue something that wouldn’t happen. Their self-esteems are soooo low unless they’re pretty hot, good looking and confident enough to approach the girls.

      I’ve been in your condition. Feeling gutted by his response on my texting. BUT, all I learnt is, Finnish guys wouldn’t reply to your text if they are not interested in you. They just text IF there’s something to talk about. Pretty honest about the compliments and they’re so sweet if they find you attractive.

      So, what I’d like to suggest:
      1. If you just want to have fun by hanging out together, just invite him over coffee and chat. Or, since Finns do drink a lot, invite him for booze. Seriously, it can help them more opened. And just tell him you just need a company and find him attractive to be someone you hang out with ;p Tell him this is just hanging out, not a dating. *please remember to split the bills*
      2. See his response.
      3. If he does not reply to your text, I have two assumptions: he is not interested enough with you OR he is just too way afraid of having someone special while he’ll leave in few months.
      4. If he’s down for your invitation, keep everything normal. Don’t try too hard to get his attention. He notices you’re there. But if he’s too shy, then you have to be more talkative in a positive way.

      Good luck! 😀

  3. Valerie says

    Just got friendzoned by one in the last week.

    Are Finns really the type who do a lot for friends?

    He basically flew from Finland to Asia on my recommendation, some hiccups happened and he unexpectedly had to go home before our scheduled meet-up. In two weeks thereof, he flew to Asia again, did his tour and we finally met in person since the first and last time we met in South Africa. I really really believed that he had romantic intentions as I have told him I like him, and he wouldn’t reject it say anything like “we’re good friends”. And now suddenly during this meet-up he just basically rejected my advances and said we’re normal friends.

    Feeling shitty. No idea what went wrong. Apparently I was the one who misinterpreted from the start. And I couldn’t ditch him alone as I was the host. It’s just one very rough week because I was trying very hard not to cross the line of a friend. And still had no idea what went wrong.

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