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The Grand Retirement Plan: A Fruit Farm with Alpacas.


(Featured Image: Source)

This morning, the Finnish coalition government came to a conclusion on the reform of healthcare in Finland issue (check #sote on twitter), when previously two of the three parties in the coalition had a huge fight about it, enough for the Prime Minister to threaten to dissolve parliament.

Read the international news coverage of this absurd fight here, here and here.

Here’s the summary of the health care/#sote issue which became less about health and more about rural/urban politics in Finland:

The Finnish prime minister Juha Sipilä (from Keskusta, the leading political party in Finland with historical rural/agrarian roots) brought an ultimatum to the talks on Thursday when he said that “Finland would organise 18 healthcare regions or be split on the issue.” He insisted on 18 regions in spite of  two “different ministerial expert groups [that] recommended a maximum of 12 regions for providing social and health care services”, and against the second largest National Coalition Party (or Kokoomus, in Finnish) proposing “just five”.

In the end, the so-called “compromise” by the coalition was that the Prime Minister got whatever he wanted–18 autonomous regions that can freely decide on the amount of money they need for their region, and freely ask from the state.

I said “compromise” because I don’t understand how Kokoomus, the opposing party in the coalition, can go ahead with 18 zones, from their original “negotiation” plan of minimum of 5 zones, to a maximum of 12 zones. So, this whole #sote issue seems like a false negotiation to me, since the Prime Minister got whatever he asked for.

In short, Kokoomus might as well not negotiate since it doesn’t seem to have power.

That being said, I’m really impressed by the Prime Minister’s negotiating skills! Last week, The Boyfriend and I went over to The Mom’s house, and I told The Mom that if I were a Finn, I’d vote for Keskusta. This is because they are guardians of the rights and welfare of the countryside folks. The #sote issue greatly reinforced this sentiment.

Supporting Keskusta means that a large part of Finland will always be surrounded by beautiful nature, forests, and awesome scenery–as opposed to tall buildings that come with urbanization– since the livelihood of the kind farmers will always be protected by this party.

Here is how a beautiful Finnish countryside looks like:



Everybody knows farming is a tough job–you got to work such long hours and it is so physically demanding! Having said that,I really love and respect Finnish farmers, they have been nothing but nice and kind to me! Therefore, I am happy that Finnish farmers have such a strong representative in parliament like the Keskusta party.

I’m also for Keskusta giving generous subsidies to farmers, but only if I am a farmer myself.

So I thought, why not be a farmer in Finland one day? A farming + marketing retirement career in Finland should be quite rewarding, even though it’s tiring and challenging.

And so today, I wrote down my Grand Retirement Plan, which is the following:

This Grand Plan is to live a dream retirement life by surrounding myself with stunning nature, clean and fresh air, and still be able to do my marketing and social media work which I’m passionate about. I’d plant seasonal, high quality Finnish fruits on my farm. I’d tested the internet speed in the countryside areas in Finland before, and I’m pleased to say that it’s still very excellent, stable and fast.

The main focus of my farming plan would also be to breed 5 Finnish alpacas on my fruit farm and be happy looking at and caring for them everyday. :


(Picture of two happy alpacas in Finland: Source)

Now, alpacas are excellent for business in Finnish fruit farms because:

  • Alpacas are really cute and extremely good for camwhor-ing. I’d take nice photos of them and put them on social media in Japanese, Korean and Chinese langauges, and do good copywriting for them. So, this means that every curious (and rich) Asian tourist can come to my fruit farm to cam-whore, and then put the cuteness overload photographs on social media. The trending, personalized hashtag would be #alpakaX[insertname], or #alpakaLOVESyou! The alpaca will be spelt “alpaKa”, with the K, characteristic of the Finnish language lack of “C”.
  • The social media channels would be snapchat, instagram, weibo, weixin, mixi, kakao, line, facebook, twitter and pinterest. Then the nice Asian friends of my Asian tourists will be curious also and come to my farm and take lots of nice pictures of themselves + Alpaka to put on social media. And the cycle repeats and it is a sustainable business system.




Because I have the fruit farm, I can also offer a detox + rejuvenation plan for my tourists and alpacas on a daily basis. So I will offer various stay packages, such as:

  • The 1-day camwhor-ing plan, where I can take a lot of professional pictures for you, complete with photoshop services;
  • The 3 days alpaka and fruit detox therapy; and
  • The 7-day heal-your-soul-with-love-and-peace plan.


(Alpaca eating apple: Source)

What a great retirement plan to look forward to!🙂

What do you think? Would you like to visit my Fruit Farm and The Finnish Alpakas in 35 years’ time?

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